When I'm Gone

Persons with RA are two times more likely to die than persons of the same age without
RA in the general population
[Wolfe F, Mitchell DM, Siblety JT et al. The mortality of rheumatoid arthritis. Arthritis Rheum, 1994;37(4):481-494].

3 DOORS DOWN LYRICS "When I'm Gone" There's another world inside of me That you may never see There're secrets in this life That I can't hide Somewhere in this darkness There's a light that I can't find Maybe it's too far away... Or maybe I'm just blind... Or maybe I'm just blind... [Chorus] So hold me when I'm here Right me when I'm wrong Hold me when I'm scared And love me when I'm gone Everything I am And everything in me Wants to be the one You wanted me to be I'll never let you down Even if I could I'd give up everything If only for your good So hold me when I'm here Right me when I'm wrong You can hold me when I'm scared You won't always be there So love me when I'm gone Love me when I'm gone... When your education X-Ray Cannot see under my skin I won't tell you a damn thing That I could not tell my friends Roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone Part of me is fighting this But part of me is gone [Chorus] Or maybe I'm just blind... [Chorus] Love me when I'm gone... Love me when I'm gone When I'm Gone When I'm Gone When I'm Gone

I think that people know when they are going to die. Even if you can't admit it to yourself or others around you, there is a part of you that knows your fate. I have never been able to picture myself as an old man. Maybe that's normal for everyone or maybe it's a part of me that knows my fate. A good friend of mine reminded me that I told her a few years ago that I would probably only be around until I was about 40 or so. I probably shouldn't have said anything like that because I think it was more troubling for her to hear than for me to say. To be honest with you, I don't really want to be an old man. My disease progresses every day and I can't imagine living life as an 80 year old man in a wheelchair. I'm not saying that I'm giving up. In fact, I'm doing the opposite. I am focusing more on my health and am determined to make the time I have on this planet the best I can. Perhaps my attitude will change in 10 years. I guess it all depends on my health. The main point I want to make here is that I love my life, family and friends and am very thankful for the time I have here with them. Let's make the time we have on this planet the best we can and enjoy every day as if it's our last. One day, it will be the last. When my time comes, I want my friends and family to be happy that I had the opportunity to live my life for as long as I did and I want them to remember all of the great times we had together. I'm thankful for the life I was given.